DEAR ABBY: My daughter was married for eight years before divorcing her cheating husband. They have two children. When my daughter found out about the affair, she was inconsolable. The girlfriend actually phoned her and said, "Why are you so upset? Everyone cheats!"
Now, two years later, the girlfriend is pregnant. My daughter would like a paternity test done before the kids are introduced to this new child. She thinks it would be harmful if they are introduced to a new half-sibling who may later prove to belong to another man. ("Everyone cheats"?)
What do you think about this? Is it wrong for my daughter to want proof that this is her ex's baby? He feels certain he's the father, but he also knows the other woman has kept in touch with her ex-boyfriend. -- JUST WONDERING IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR JUST WONDERING: If your daughter's ex wants to claim paternity without a paternity test, there is no legal basis I can think of to prevent him from being considered the father. While your daughter has reason to be angry at her ex and to dislike the woman with whom he cheated, she can't prevent her children from seeing the baby if he wants them to.
(P.S. You'd think her ex would WANT to know for certain, but it takes all kinds ...)