Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

Woman Discovers Old Flame Blew Smoke About His Past

DEAR ABBY: I have been single for five years. I recently reconnected with a man I lost contact with 13 years ago. We went out a few times and it was wonderful.

Out of curiosity, I began checking him out online, starting with his mother, who he had mentioned was a surgeon. When I could find no information on her, I started looking up other things. Abby, I could find nothing about him or his family. His mother does not have a medical license, and there are no property records or any record of a marriage license to his second wife.

When I confronted him, he was furious and accused me of not trusting him. Now he doesn't want anything to do with me. I'm heartbroken. I loved him years ago and thought this was for real.

I feel guilty for not trusting him, even though I know he hasn't been honest with me. Is it wrong to do background checks on people you date? -- DATING A MAN WHO DOESN'T EXIST

DEAR DATING: It isn't wrong to do some checking. In fact, these days it's very common. But I wonder, having known this man years ago, what made you curious enough to double-check? Also, how good are you at research? And when you "confronted" him, were you hostile, which would have made him react defensively?

Please do not waste another minute feeling guilty about this. If he isn't the person he portrayed himself to be, you may have dodged a bullet.

Read more in: Love & Dating

Recent on uexpress