DEAR ABBY: My family and I moved to Iowa when I was in high school to be closer to the other side of the family. Because we had lived in California, we didn't interact much with our Iowa family. So now, even though we have been back in Iowa for the last eight years, they still forget our birthdays and don't include us in family get-togethers. How should I deal with this situation? -- EXCLUDED IN THE HAWKEYE STATE
DEAR EXCLUDED: It appears you're being punished for the "sins" of your parents. (Could there have been some friction with the Iowa relatives that caused the move to California?) All you can do is talk to them and see if you can improve the situation. Consider inviting them to your family get-togethers and you may get a positive response.
However, if they are not receptive, then it will be up to you to create a "replacement" family out of the people you have become close to in your community since your return.