Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Couple Trips Over Dancing Disagreement

DEAR ABBY: I am a very good swing dancer. I'm 22 and have been doing it since my sophomore year of high school. When I dance I feel alive and free.

My boyfriend of two years, "Jonah," whom I love dearly, isn't good at it. But he says he wants to learn so we can dance together.

We're going dancing this weekend and, truthfully, I don't want to go with him. When I asked him if it would be OK if I danced with some other dancer friends as well as with him, he said he was insulted and hurt by the question, and it would make him too jealous. I explained that I want to help him learn when we take lessons, but in the meantime, I want to dance freely.

I have ignored this issue for two years because I knew it would lead to a conflict. Should I suppress my love of dancing until Jonah is at my level or follow my heart and dance my socks off? -- BALLROOM BETSY

DEAR BALLROOM BETSY: How is Jonah doing with those dancing lessons? Has he even started? What if it turns out he has two left feet?

That he can't stand the idea of you dancing some of the dances with anyone else is a sign of insecurity. Are you willing to give up swing dancing to please him? If the answer is no, it may be time to change partners.

Read more in: Love & Dating