DEAR ABBY: During one of their "stay up all night drinking beer and talking" sessions six months ago, my husband, "Ralph," and his best friend of more than 20 years, "Jim," had a huge fight. They haven't spoken since.
Ralph has tried at least three times to contact Jim by phone and email with no response. If Ralph's version of the story is true, they both behaved badly. Ralph has sincerely tried to apologize, but Jim refuses to speak to him.
It breaks my heart to see how much this has upset my husband. I am still Facebook friends with Jim, and every time I see him online I'm tempted to say something to him, but so far I have resisted. Would it be crossing the line for me to reach out and see if he'll talk to me about this? Or should I stay out of it? -- HOPEFUL PEACEMAKER IN ARIZONA
DEAR HOPEFUL PEACEMAKER: I know you mean well, but it would be a mistake to put yourself in the middle. Whatever happened between your husband and his friend must have been a doozy.
You state that this happened during one of their all-night drinking and talking sessions. To me this indicates that one or both of them may have alcohol issues that need to be addressed. This is what should be mentioned, but only to your spouse. If the loss of his long-standing friendship has been painful enough, he may be willing to listen.