DEAR ABBY: In the past few months I have gone to different parties for friends from my church group. I always go to the celebrations eager to meet and chat with people I haven't seen in years.
However, one thing bothers me about these get-togethers. Toward the middle of the event, I often get approached by the host who will ask me to assist with a certain task such as setting up the table, clearing or even doing the dishes. No one else is ever asked to help.
I was raised in a family that emphasized good manners and to always be willing to help a friend. But in these situations I feel uncomfortable because I don't want to refuse my host and I was invited as a "guest."
Isn't it rude for a host to ask a guest to help clean? If so, what would be the appropriate response? -- INFRINGED UPON IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR INFRINGED UPON: Whether it's presumptuous to ask depends upon how close the host is to the guest being asked to lend a hand. Some people would consider it a compliment; however, if you're not close, it is presumptuous. And if you prefer not to be recruited, all you have to say is, "I'd rather not."