DEAR ABBY: Nowadays, I'm learning about the deaths of family members and friends by email, and I'm uncertain how to respond. I always send thoughtful, personal handwritten notes of condolence. But how best to acknowledge or respond to the email?
It seems wrong to ignore it in favor of sending a letter via the Postal Service, because my message will take a while to reach the bereaved. But it also seems wrong to say, "Oh, so sad to hear the news" in an email, as if that was the sum total of my thoughts. What to do? -- CARING OUT WEST
DEAR CARING: Here's what I do. I pick up the phone and call the person who sent the email, or a member of the family that suffered the loss. I express my sympathy and find out the details -- such as where and when the funeral or memorial will be held, and if I can send flowers or make a donation. Then I write the condolence note.