DEAR ABBY: I have been HIV-positive for more than 20 years and I am in good health. I never told anyone in my family about it.
I have now returned to my hometown after being away for 40-plus years. I want to tell my father and brothers that I'm HIV-positive, but I don't want to alarm them or have them start meddling in my life. I feel like I'm lying by not telling them. What should I do? -- I'VE GOT A SECRET
DEAR GOT A SECRET: Maintaining one's privacy is not lying. Because your intuition tells you that if you disclose your HIV status to your family they will be "alarmed or start meddling," don't do it. You're in good health, your HIV is being well managed and the only person who has to know is your sex partner.