DEAR ABBY: When I was in my 20s, I was involved in a long-term relationship with a married man. I became pregnant, we ended the relationship and I gave birth to an amazing, intelligent and well-adjusted son, "Kyle." There has been no contact with my former lover, and we have no mutual acquaintances.
Now that Kyle is an adult, he has expressed an interest in contacting his father. He is curious, but doesn't want to disrupt his father's life. Kyle doesn't feel he missed out by not meeting his father; he simply wonders what he is like. The man is easy to locate on social media because he has an unusual last name.
I don't want to see my son hurt by rejection or lack of interest from this man. Should I make the initial contact? If so, what would be the best way to do it? -- PROTECTIVE MOM IN TENNESSEE
DEAR PROTECTIVE MOM: Your impulse may be to protect your son, but Kyle should make the contact. When he does, he should tell the man that you are his mother, and that he would like to meet him for no other reason than to ask him some questions and get his medical history. The response Kyle gets will tell him a lot about the man who fathered him. But there is no guarantee that a man who never provided financial support for his son will be receptive, compassionate or polite, and your son should be prepared.