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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Loathe To Date Kind But Overweight Man

DEAR ABBY: I recently started a new job. One of the management individuals has taken a strong interest in me. He keeps doing favors for me that benefit me financially and I appreciate it. (I have never asked him to do this.)

I have always been courteous and took his gestures as a sign of kindness. But now he has started complimenting me and talking about things that go way beyond conversation. It's making me uncomfortable.

We have gone out on two friendly lunches before, and he is a genuine, kind, educated, wonderful man. He would be a great catch, but the problem is he is extremely overweight. I am emotionally attracted to him, but physically repelled. I can't wait years for him to lose the weight, but he is taking my kindness as a possible show of interest. Have you any advice that could help end his attraction, but continue the business advice he provides for me? -- IN A SPOT IN TAMPA

DEAR IN A SPOT: When the man compliments you about anything that isn't work-connected, tell him that when he does it, it makes you uncomfortable. And when he raises topics that aren't business-related, steer the conversation right back where it belongs. He may be a kind, genuine, educated, wonderful person, but if he persists, it could be considered harassment.

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