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by Abigail Van Buren

Grieving Widow Needs Help Finding Therapist

DEAR ABBY: My husband died three years ago and I'm still grieving deeply. Time hasn't made it easier; in fact, it's getting more difficult. No one around me understands or even cares, for that matter.

How do I find a good therapist? I don't know what questions to ask to see if I can trust him or her with my thoughts, and if we would get along. Any suggestions? -- DYING OF A BROKEN HEART

DEAR DYING: A way to find a good therapist would be to ask friends and/or your doctor for referrals and explain that since your husband's death your grief hasn't lessened. Your state psychological association can also provide the names of members who specialize in grief counseling.

Interview several prospective therapists. A question you should ask is how many patients with your problem he or she has successfully treated. However, the bottom line is whether you feel the therapist listens well and has the compassion to help you, which is as important as any diploma hanging on the wall. You'll know when you meet someone you are comfortable with.

Read more in: Death | Mental Health