DEAR ABBY: For the past year I have been an old friend's lover. I'm a widow; he is married. I don't want him to leave his wife because she has been through a lot with him, including alcohol addiction. For the past few months he has given me excuses for not seeing me. We had gotten together on a weekly basis until recently.
I have all the emails and texts we have sent each other, along with pictures and a journal I have kept throughout the relationship. Should I send them to his wife? They have had a long marriage, and he has cheated on her repeatedly for the last 25 years.
I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about our affair. I just need to know if I should let his wife know what he has been doing. Yes, there is jealousy and revenge involved, and no, I haven't talked to him about what I suspect because I'm not sure how to broach the subject. -- THE OTHER WOMAN IN THE SOUTHWEST
DEAR OTHER WOMAN: I know you are hurting right now, but I see no reason to punish the wife for it. I'm sure after all these years there is nothing you could show-and-tell the woman that she isn't already aware of -- except that you, a friend, betrayed her. Leave her alone. If you want confirmation of your suspicions, take it up with your lover.