DEAR ABBY: My son serves on a ship in the Navy in an area known for terrorism. People who know this tell me how safe his ship is, how strong the U.S. military is, etc.
Please, people, when I (or anyone else who has a family member in the military) ask for prayers or express concern, do not offer these platitudes. Understand that our fears are real, and so are our tears.
Offer a hug, a hand-squeeze, say you will pray for us -- but understand that until our loved ones are back on U.S. soil, our fears and tension won't lessen. Unless you have been in our shoes, you can't know how we feel when we watch the news because we have no true idea of what is going on. Our military family members can't tell us, and often we have no (or limited) contact with them. I cry alone often.
I am proud of my son for his service and even encouraged it, but this is a rough time for me and others who are in this situation. -- MILITARY MOTHER
DEAR MILITARY MOTHER: Thank you for writing. Many people are uncomfortable when they encounter an emotional situation and don't know what to say. Their impulse is to "make it better," not realizing that sometimes a gesture is more eloquent than words can be.
I agree with you that when a loved one is in harm's way, it is an emotional roller-coaster ride for all concerned -- the parents, the siblings, the spouses and the children of our servicemen and -women.