DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our early 30s and both have full-time jobs. Because of our busy work schedules and a general lack of desire to be parents, we have decided not to have children. We have nothing against kids, but we feel it isn't the best fit for our lifestyle.
The problem is my mother. She has a small farm I was always told I would one day inherit and move back to. My degree is in agriculture, and my husband and I have been saving for this for some time. Mom now says unless we have a child to pass the farm onto, we can't have it.
I am devastated about not being able to fulfill our dream and the pressure of my mother trying to force parenthood on us. I refuse to cave into her demand, but I'm not sure how to handle myself around her. Should I cut off contact until she stops badgering me? Should I just let her remarks go? I am sad and hurt to have been put in this position. Any advice? -- CORNERED IN OHIO
DEAR CORNERED: People who don't want to be parents usually don't make very good ones -- and to bring a child into the world in order to get your hands on your mother's farm would be unfair to the child.
I see no reason to cut off your mother. When she raises this subject again (and she will), tell her that even if you had a baby "to pass the farm onto," there is no guarantee the child would want it. In the meantime, continue saving your money so you will have a sufficient down payment for a farm of your own -- no strings attached.