DEAR ABBY: I fervently want to help my daughter and her father (my ex) fix their relationship. They are both a lot alike -- bullheaded and stubborn. They can't see how much they hurt each other.
My daughter feels he has chosen his "new" family (wife and stepchildren) over her because she isn't invited to family game nights, dinners out, etc.
He feels she doesn't appreciate what he does for her.
She's expecting a baby (our first grandchild) in December, and I think they should try to mend fences before the birth occurs. We lost our son (her brother) three years ago, and I know this figures into the family dynamic as well. I just don't want to see them hurt each other anymore. Can you help me fix this? -- ANXIOUS IN COLORADO
DEAR ANXIOUS: I wish you had clarified what your ex "does" do for his daughter, because from your description it appears he has done the minimum and little else. Having been excluded from "family game nights and dinners out," it's natural that she would feel her father made a new family and left her in the dust.
While I admire your impulse to be the peacemaker, I don't think you can fix this. Family counseling might be able to mend the rift, but only if all parties are willing.