DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old granddaughter, "Grace," has confided to me that she's smoking pot and drinking. When I asked her why, she said she does it to make herself feel better. I told her she has a serious problem, and something has to be done.
Grace doesn't want to tell her parents and, frankly, I think they would just yell and scream and not understand what's really going on. At this point, I don't know what to do. The person who's supplying my granddaughter is someone who is always around. I refuse to have that other girl in my home, but I can't tell Grace's parents why. What should I do? -- IN A FIX IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR IN A FIX: You're correct that this is serious, and something does have to be done. Alcohol and weed are not the solutions to your granddaughter's problem. Self-medicating won't fix what's wrong and could make her problems worse.
Grace needs to be evaluated and diagnosed by a physician. The way to ensure that it happens is to talk to her parents about the fact that you're worried about her. If you make clear that Grace is getting stoned to "feel better" and not partying, they may be less inclined to react with anger.