DEAR ABBY: I'm a 33-year-old man who has screwed up his marriage. I stupidly had a fling with my wife's 16-year-old cousin and got in trouble for it. I never lied about it because I knew it was wrong, and I am deeply sorry for it. It happened more than a year ago. I ended up serving time in jail.
I love my wife. She is my best friend. We have no kids, just some great dogs and horses. We were very close until I went to jail, and the last day I was in there I got served with divorce papers.
I can't blame her for how she feels. She says she loves me but she's too hurt to continue. I love her and I'm devastated that I can't fix this.
I have known her for 20 years and she means so much to me. I want to save our marriage, and for the last year I have expressed repeatedly how sorry I am. Any advice? -- SORRY IN TENNESSEE
DEAR SORRY: Tell your wife (if the divorce isn't final) that you are willing to do anything to save your marriage, and ask her if she would be willing to go to couple's counseling with you.
Under the circumstances, her feelings are entirely understandable. If there is any love for you left in her heart, counseling may help to get your relationship back on track. However, if she refuses, you will have to accept her decision and go on with your life, having learned a very expensive lesson.