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by Abigail Van Buren

Funeral Plans Will Prolong Family Feud

DEAR ABBY: My sisters and brothers and I don't speak and haven't in five years. When I pass, I have a list of people who will be welcome at my services. If someone's name is not on the list, they will be asked to leave. I want my children and some of my grandchildren there, but no one else. Do you think I am wrong? -- TROUBLED IN TEXAS

DEAR TROUBLED: No, I don't. Your wishes are your wishes. However, it is sad when families feud and, at the end, things that should be said are left unspoken.

One would hope that anyone who comes to your funeral would be there to support your children and grandchildren, or to pay last respects. I think it would be rude to ask someone who came to leave. A better way to handle it would be to specify in the funeral announcement that services will be for "your children only" and for further information people should contact a person you designate to carry out your wishes.

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