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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Wants Husband Coming Back From Deployment To Get Tested

DEAR ABBY: My husband is in Afghanistan for a year. When he returns, I want to ask him to get tested for STDs before we have sex. I do not have any specific reason to think he would be having sex with someone while deployed, but let's face it. He's a man, and a year is a long time to abstain when there are females present. I have seen text messages from his buddies that read, "What happens on deployment stays on deployment," regarding them cheating on their spouses.

How do I approach the subject in the most effective way? I know that when I do, he will be mad, but it's not the first time that STDs have been a problem in our relationship. Help! -- THINKING OF MY HEALTH

DEAR THINKING OF YOUR HEALTH: One would think that a man who loves his wife would want to be absolutely positive that he wouldn't give her a sexually transmitted infection. However, because your husband has given you one before, it is perfectly logical that you tell him it is the reason you want him to be tested before resuming your marital relationship.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Sex & Gender