DEAR ABBY: My son is married to a wonderful young woman, "Dana," and they have a small baby. Dana suffered a brain injury years ago that left her somewhat developmentally delayed. Until the baby was born, it wasn't much of an issue, but it is becoming apparent that Dana is not always able to parent the child appropriately. (She will leave her on a table to get a diaper, doesn't feed her according to schedule and doesn't dress her warmly in cold weather.)
My son takes care of things when he's home, but he works every day. When I think of my own daughter's development, I see that Dana is operating at approximately a middle-teen level even though she's 28. Can you advise what I can do to ensure my granddaughter is safe and secure without making my daughter-in-law feel inadequate? I don't want to seem like a meddling M-I-L. -- LOVES DANA
DEAR LOVES DANA: If Dana would leave the baby on a table while she went to get a diaper, would she also leave the baby in a tub while she went to answer a phone? If you haven't voiced your concerns to your son, please do because your granddaughter could be seriously injured. Parenting classes might help your daughter-in-law, or involving a social worker or arranging for day care for the baby could also solve this problem.