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by Abigail Van Buren

Complicated Relationship Does Not Amount To Adultery

DEAR ABBY: After my best friend of more than 20 years, I'll call him Tim, told me his wife had cheated on him, I confessed that I am in love with him. His response floored me. Tim announced that he has been in love with me all this time and can imagine growing old with only me.

A friend told me I'm committing adultery with Tim because he is now in the process of leaving his cheating wife for me. Am I? We haven't been intimate, nor do we plan to sleep with each other until the divorce is final.

I have loved Tim far longer than she has been in the picture, and I feel this is a chance for happiness that fate has offered us and we are meant to grow old together. Are we wrong to pursue a relationship? -- CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: If Tim has been in love with you all these years, he couldn't have had much of a marriage. His wife's infidelity was his "get out of jail" ticket and he took it. I don't know what your "friend's" definition of adultery is, but according to Webster's dictionary, you're not committing it.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Love & Dating | Friends & Neighbors