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by Abigail Van Buren

Boor Husband Alienates Friends

DEAR ABBY: A friend, "Wanda," invited my husband, "Hugh," and me to a dinner party two years ago. Hugh had too much to drink and insulted not only Wanda but also one of the guests. He apologized the next day.

This is not the first time he has done this at dinner parties, and his behavior has had a negative impact on some of my best friendships. I used to entertain all the time, but I can no longer invite my friends over as they no longer want to be around Hugh.

Wanda continues to invite me to her dinner parties, but has made a point of telling me that Hugh is not invited. Not wanting to lose another friend, I have been going alone. I let my husband know why, and he says it doesn't bother him, but I feel guilty attending without him. My friendships are important to me and I'm torn about what to do. -- PARTY OF ONE

DEAR PARTY: If your husband can't control his behavior when he's had a drink or two, then he should not be drinking in public. That he says it "doesn't bother him" that he's no longer welcome in these people's homes is sad, as it should be a glaring signal that he needs help.

Because he isn't ready to do something about his problem, continue to socialize without him. That you do is admirable, so please stop feeling guilty about it.

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics | Friends & Neighbors | Marriage & Divorce | Addiction