DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl with a good life. There are bumps in the road, but they happen and I accept that. The thing I worry about is my me-maw. She's getting very old and thinks she will be dying soon.
I try to tell her not to think that way. I really love her and don't know what I would do if she were gone so soon. I go to her house every summer, winter, and anytime we're out of school.
I need to get a job this summer, and I don't know how to tell my me-maw I won't be coming to visit without hurting her feelings. She is one of those people who don't show their emotions like most of my family, so I know when she sometimes says it's OK it really isn't. Please tell me what to say to her. -- CONCERNED GRANDCHILD IN ALABAMA
DEAR CONCERNED GRANDCHILD: You are sweet, thoughtful and sensitive, but you are also growing up. Your grandmother may be talking the way she is because of her age -- or she may be concerned about her health and trying to prepare you.
It's time to ask your parents what is going on with her. If she's really sick, you may want to postpone getting that job until next summer. If she's not, you should explain to Me-maw that you love her and treasure the special times you have been able to spend with her -- but as much as you'd like to, you will not be able to do it this summer because you need to get a job. It's part of becoming an adult and will help you to learn responsibility and independence. As a loving grandparent, she knows how important that is for you.