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by Abigail Van Buren

Two Large Get-Togethers Could Solve Couple's Woes

DEAR ABBY: My husband, kids and I moved out of state seven years ago, leaving behind our extended families. Now, whenever we plan a vacation in our home state, we encounter the same issues. The first is trying to accommodate everyone's schedule into our own. The second is dividing our time between my family and my husband's. (His family is smaller than mine.)

Is it fair to divide the time in half -- half for his family and half for mine -- even though I have so many more relatives on my list? Or should we divide our time by the number of households we need to see? These issues cause my husband and me to argue, and it makes what is supposed to be a vacation very unpleasant. I already feel like canceling the trip. -- VACATION ISSUES

DEAR VACATION ISSUES: A solution would be to have two large family get-togethers -- one for your family and another for his -- during your visit. Then, if you want to visit with the relatives from the two branches of the families individually, you can "divide and conquer." He can spend as much time as he wishes with his relatives, and you can spend time with yours.

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