Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Mother-In-Law Shouldn't Meddle With Grandchild Placed For Adoption

DEAR ABBY: My husband fathered a child in high school that was placed for adoption. His mother has become very close with the adoptive family and visits often. My husband does not. However, my mother-in-law constantly asks him to go on vacation with her to visit the child. I also found out that she sends the child gifts and signs my husband's name on the cards.

Abby, I feel this is hugely disrespectful not only to me, but also to my husband. He has chosen not to get involved with this child because he doesn't think it's fair to the adoptive family. He also doesn't wish to become attached. We have already told her she is overstepping her boundaries, but it continues to happen. What can we do? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your mother-in-law may have the best of intentions, but forging your husband's name is dishonest. Sooner or later the child will find out the truth, and the result may be painful. However, there is nothing you can do to control your husband's mother's behavior, so accept it and don't take it personally.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Marriage & Divorce