DEAR ABBY: I am shocked at the rude treatment I see many older mothers receive from their children. I spend considerable time at various doctor appointments. Fortunately, I can drive myself, but many senior women must depend on their caregivers -- often their daughters -- who treat them badly. I can't help but wonder how they treat their mothers in private since they are so insensitive in public.
I'm grateful to have a daughter who puts up with my occasional crankiness and complaints. She loves me unconditionally and takes wonderful care of me when needed.
I'd like to ask sons and daughters to be kinder and more patient with their elderly moms. They won't be around forever. -- GRATEFUL MOM IN PHOENIX
DEAR GRATEFUL: I wish you had described more clearly the interactions you observed. What you saw may not have been a lack of devotion to their mothers, but signs of caregiver stress or burnout.
Daughters (and sons) caught in the sandwich generation -- earning a living and caring for their children as well as their aged parents -- are not always at their best. However, you are correct. These frail, elderly parents need compassion and patience because they won't be around forever.