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by Abigail Van Buren

Carpool Members Feels Taken Advantage Of

DEAR ABBY: We have always purchased rather than leased our cars. One of them has 225,000 miles on the odometer and is running well. I have two friends who lease expensive foreign cars. Keeping the mileage down on their cars is important to them, especially when it comes time to return them at the end of the lease.

Because of this, I find myself driving more often than I should. One friend attends a weekly meeting with me, and we're supposed to take turns driving each other every other week. But somehow I end up at the wheel more often. I'd hate to start writing down our outings, but I'm beginning to feel used.

While I respect their decision to lease expensive new cars, it is not my responsibility to keep their expenses down. Both of these women are in a better financial position than I am, although we are all "comfortable."

Any ideas about how to approach this without seeming petty? It has been going on for a long while and is starting to bother me. -- DRIVEN TOO FAR IN LONG BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR DRIVEN TOO FAR: If you feel that you are being taken advantage of, then you probably are. I recommend you wean these ladies off your chauffeur services by being less available when they need a ride. And if you are asked why, remind them of your original agreement to share the driving duties 50-50.

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics | Miscellaneous