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by Abigail Van Buren

Fiance's Parents Deserve Truth About Bride's Past

DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 20s and recently became engaged to my boyfriend of more than a year. He is in his early 30s. His parents live on the other side of the country, and we see them only twice a year. We plan on visiting them for the holidays, and some friends of theirs will be throwing us a bridal shower.

I was married before. I was 18 and it lasted three years. I was devastated when it ended. Am I obligated to tell them about my previous marriage? My fiance knows, of course.

This is not something I like to discuss. I was raised in a very religious household where divorce is looked down upon. My fiance's parents are not particularly religious, however. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: While this may not be something you like to discuss, disclose it to your fiance's parents before the wedding. This trip would be a good time to do it, so you can answer any questions that might arise.

Tell them that it's not something you usually talk about, but you and their son didn't want them to think you are hiding anything. If the subject comes up in the future, tell them that it is in the past and you do not wish to discuss it further.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Etiquette & Ethics