DEAR ABBY: My problem is my mother. My entire life (I am 50) she has made me choose between her and Dad for the holidays. They have been divorced for 30 years, and she still speaks ill of him. She has made every wedding or family event unbearable. It has reached the point that I feel guilty if I want to go and see him.
She is now doing the same thing with my boyfriend of four years. A lot has transpired between us, but we are on a good path and are very much involved in each other's lives. She refused to spend this past Easter with us, including my children, if he was around. I told her that it was her choice and she is always welcome to attend.
With Christmas fast approaching, I don't want all the drama and blackmail to continue. Help! -- WEARY IN WISCONSIN
DEAR WEARY: You handled Easter appropriately and you should do the same with Christmas. If your mother chooses not to attend, the choice is hers. Consider asking your father to join you if she won't be there.