DEAR ABBY: I have been living on my own for three years. I recently moved back to my hometown and share a great apartment with my best friend from childhood.
My mother has had a serious alcohol problem for as long as I can remember. She will be moving back to the area next month for a new job. Dad couldn't get a job transfer, so he'll have to stay at their current house, which is five hours away.
I love Mom, but I'm very worried because I will be her closest family member location-wise. Her drinking has grown progressively worse over the last few years and has been the cause of three major surgeries. If something happens while she's living on her own, I don't know what I'll do.
Talking to my family is useless. It gets brushed aside because they don't want to deal with the pain after all these years. Do you have any suggestions to make this transition easier? -- HEAVY-HEARTED DAUGHTER IN VIRGINIA
DEAR HEAVY-HEARTED: For the sake of your sanity, you must not assume responsibility for your mother's drinking problem. Before she arrives, it would be helpful for you to attend some Al-Anon meetings or visit a chapter of Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization. They can help you to maintain your emotional equilibrium as well as share experiences that will help you to cope with her without being overwhelmed.
Al-Anon should be listed in your phone directory because it is everywhere, or you can visit www.Al-AnonFamilyGroups.org. The website for Adult Children of Alcoholics is www.adultchildren.org.