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by Abigail Van Buren

Cross Dressing Husband Worries His Secret Is Out

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive, and we have a wonderful life together.

During the past week I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. We're not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears. -- CAUGHT IN A PANIC

DEAR CAUGHT: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors your female attire is what you'll be wearing to a costume party. It's plausible.

However, when someone is "caught" engaging in a private activity once -- that's an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I can't help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle.

If you're not aware, a resource, The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers as well as their spouses, partners and families. It has been in my column before and is the oldest and largest support organization for cross-dressers and those who love them. It promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency, and treats spouses on an equal basis with their cross-dressers. You can learn more about it at www.tri-ess.org.

Read more in: Friends & Neighbors | Sex & Gender