DEAR ABBY: I recently married a wonderful woman I have been friends with for years. I was always secretly in love with her. We are very happy together.
The only problem is that her ex-husband, from whom she has been divorced for four years, was violent. If I try to brush her hair away from her face or make a sudden movement of any kind, she flinches or panics.
I have never been violent with anyone, and I know she has PTSD from her past marriage. How should I sensitively broach the subject of counseling to deal with this serious issue? -- CONCERNED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR CONCERNED: When it happens again, tell your wife calmly that you know it's a reflex and see if you can get her to tell you why it happens. At that point you could suggest she talk to a counselor because you love her and would never hurt her, and when she flinches, it hurts you that she's still carrying around this heavy baggage.