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by Abigail Van Buren

Boyfriend Is Uncomfortable With 'I Love You'

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of nearly a year and I recently said "I love you" for the first time. Before he said it (he said it first) he told me he doesn't want to start saying it "all the time" -- wherein lies my dilemma. How often is too often? Do I say it every night before bed or only on special occasions?

Please help because I'm confused, and I'm worrying that I'm hurting him because I haven't said it since that night four days ago. I don't want to smother him or make him feel uncomfortable. -- HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

DEAR HOW MUCH: Not everyone is comfortable with verbal declarations of love, and your boyfriend may be one of them. Love is spontaneous, it's a feeling -- not a mathematical formula. Only your boyfriend can tell you how often is too often for him.

However, if you are sharing a bed, you should be able to express yourself fully whenever you climb into it -- and his reaction should be positive (if not reciprocal) when you do.

Read more in: Love & Dating