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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Fears Husband's Alcoholism Could Send Him Back To Prison

DEAR ABBY: My husband was sober for 14 years. He started drinking again two years ago. He's on probation and drinking is a clear violation of his probation. His liver enzymes are elevated, and I can't seem to find the right words to get his attention. I have thought about contacting his probation officer, but then he will be incarcerated.

Abby, I am watching the man I love drink himself to death and I'm afraid for him. Should I tell his probation officer or just watch him self-destruct? -- SCARED AND CONFUSED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SCARED: The reason you can't get your husband's attention is because of the alcohol. He isn't thinking straight. As I am sure you realize, one of the hallmarks of addiction is denial. No one helps an alcoholic by enabling the person to continue drinking, and your husband definitely needs help.

While it may not be easy, talk to the probation officer so your husband can be incarcerated, dry out and become rational again. I know it is a painful choice, but watching him die of liver disease would be worse.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce | Death | Health & Safety | Mental Health