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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman in Love With Gay Man Must Begin to Look Elsewhere

DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old woman who has never been married or had children. For the past two years I've been seeing a man I'll call Frank. I love him deeply, and I believe he feels the same about me.

Frank is still married but legally separated from his wife. They have one child who lives with his mom. Frank lives with me, and Frank's wife lives with another man and has a second child by yet another guy.

My problem is, Frank's wife calls me whenever she has a fight with her boyfriend. She confides in me like I'm her best friend. I have never talked to Frank about divorcing her, but I'm at my wit's end over this whole circle. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time with him. Abby, I'm a longtime reader who needs to find a solution to this soap opera. Please help me. -- GETTING DIZZY IN EAST BOSTON

DEAR GETTING DIZZY: You need to talk to Frank about his degree of commitment to you. Two years is a long time to live with someone who's married to someone else -- let alone be trying to solve his wife's love problems. Perhaps it's time to distance yourself from both of them and figure out what you want to do for you.