DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering if you can help me. I have been friendly with couples, and when an argument arises I have been caught in the middle. Sometimes I have felt forced to take sides. Then what happened was, they wound up mending fences and repeating to the other what I said during their split. It has put me in an awkward position when we're together. How should I handle this in the future? -- TORN IN DALLAS
DEAR TORN: In the future, when your friends have a spat with a spouse or significant other and start to dump on you, politely decline to listen. Say, "If you have a complaint about ( ), you should work it out with him/her because I'm not comfortable hearing this." Either that, or do a lot of listening and comment, "Oh, that must be painful." Period. That way you're saying nothing you won't later regret.
The exception would be if you were told about an abusive relationship, in which case you should recommend a domestic-violence hotline.