DEAR ABBY: Our son, an honors student, was accepted to a prestigious Ivy League school. However, the amount of tuition was so exorbitant that the burden on our family would have been financially devastating. Since the day I made the call to turn down the university's offer, my wife, "Jenna," has refused to touch me or respond to me in any way. She talks to me rarely and has refused to make love for more than three years.
I have gone to marriage counseling (she refused to go), sought help from my clergy and repeatedly tried to get my wife to have a relationship. Although I am not a perfect husband, I have tried to make our marriage work. Jenna continues to treat me with contempt and refuses to refer to me in front of our three children by any name except "he."
Do you see any hope for me continuing this relationship? I hate to end this marriage before all of our kids leave home. -- SAD IN SYRACUSE
DEAR SAD: Did you discuss the phone call with your wife before you made it, so you could explore other possible options together or did you call without consulting her? If it's the latter, she had a right to be angry. However, to punish one's spouse for three years seems grossly excessive. And because she won't accept counseling you will have to decide whether to accept the status quo, because you appear to have been physically and emotionally abandoned.