DEAR ABBY: Last year I lost someone very dear to me, my 5-year-old brother. I never knew a child who died before, but when it's your little brother it makes it worse.
The thing is, I'm the oldest and I have always tried to hide my emotions. I try to act like everything is OK because I don't want people to know I'm falling apart. It's bad enough for my mom and my grandparents. I don't want to make it worse.
People say God only gives you what you can handle, but how are you supposed to handle an innocent child's death? -- GRIEVING IN VIRGINIA
DEAR GRIEVING: Please accept my sympathy for your loss. A healthy way to deal with the emotions you are experiencing is to talk about them. Ideally, it would be with your parents. However, because you're afraid it will be too painful for them, you need to find another adult with whom you can vent.
It is important to let the feelings you're bottling up come out because they are normal. Releasing them will help ease your pain. A counselor at school can help, or if you'd be more comfortable with someone else, talk to your clergyperson.