DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 10 years, together for 15. When we met, he was in a band and we did a lot of socializing, drinking, partying, etc.
Over the years and two children later, I enjoy these activities less as the demands of parenting and full-time careers take top priority. My husband frequently makes the comment, "You used to be fun." I find it incredibly hurtful and have told him so, but he continues to repeat it. Sometimes I'm tempted to lash out and say, "Then go find yourself someone who is!" Is there any other way I can address this? -- "PARTY-POOPER" IN NEW YORK
DEAR "PARTY-POOPER": Yes. The next time your husband says, "You used to be fun," rather than become defensive, ask him to explain what he means. What exactly does he miss? The freedom? Not having the responsibilities of a full-time career and two children? The drinking?
If he misses the carefree woman you used to be, find a sitter and schedule some regular adult time together. If it's something more than that, you may need a marriage counselor.