DEAR ABBY: I know a fairly well-to-do couple who, after living together for a while, have decided to get married. I went to their online wedding registry to select something for them and was stunned to see that several of the items they had on there were pricey items for their cats. Is this the status quo these days, or is it just plain bad taste?
I chose to put money toward another item, but now I'm wondering if it will go where it was directed -- and not to the cats. It was also suggested that I provide an email address so that an e-card of thanks might be sent.
Abby, you keep telling your readers that times have changed. I reluctantly guess we need to resign ourselves to the emails, but what is your take on the gift suggestions? -- OFFENDED WEDDING GUEST IN NEW YORK
DEAR OFFENDED: The couple you mentioned may have most (or all) of the household items they need. While the request for something for their pets instead of themselves is somewhat unusual, no rule of etiquette forbids it. The object is to give something they can use, and I'm having trouble understanding why you find their request offensive.
I do, however, take exception to the idea of a generic, mass mailing being used to acknowledge wedding gifts rather than an individual thank you. If that's what they're planning, it seems more of an impersonal "shrug" than an actual expression of gratitude.