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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am planning a trip to Thailand next year and would like to find a traveling partner. I don't care whether the person is male or female. My plan is to visit the country and rent a cabin for a month. My interest is solely to share expenses and have a platonic relationship with my travelmate because going alone is very expensive. Thanks for whatever input you can give me. -- TRAVELER FROM KANSAS CITY

DEAR TRAVELER: You're welcome. My "input" is to urge you to rethink this. I do not recommend that you go to a foreign country and rent a cabin in the middle of nowhere with someone you don't know because it could be dangerous. What if there is a medical emergency or your companion has misrepresented him- or herself?

Traveling, even with someone you do know, can present problems unless you have a high degree of compatibility and similar habits. Low-budget tours are available, and I urge you to research them.

DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago my husband and I were having an argument. He stormed out of the house and was killed in a wreck while talking to his brother on his cellphone.

His family blames me for arguing with him. While I feel sad that the last thing we did was argue, I feel his brother should shoulder some of the blame because he was on the cellphone with him, which is illegal in our state.

Luckily, no one else was hurt in the crash, but I am very hurt that "John's" family is so angry at me. Please remind folks not to drive while on a cellphone. -- IDAHO WIDOW

DEAR WIDOW: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your husband. It is important you understand that your former in-laws are angry at the fact that he is dead, and are looking for someone other than him to blame for their pain. If your brother-in-law knew John was on his cellphone while driving, then I'm sure he carries some guilt about it. But the fault lies with your husband, rest his angry soul.

P.S. If your letter serves as a reminder to readers not to use a cellphone -- or text -- while driving, his death will not have been in vain.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a recently divorced man who was married to a very controlling woman for 31 years. I love him very much and see myself with him in the future. However, at the age of 53, he is interested in pursuing a singing career.

I dated a musician for 16 years and I do not want a relationship with another one. I'm pretending to be supportive because I don't want to be another woman telling him what to do or stifling his dreams. Inside I am dreading it. I become physically ill when I think of losing another man to music.

On the other hand, I can't imagine my life without him. Should I continue to pretend to support him and hope he fails, or let him know that I don't want to be with a musician? -- OUT OF TUNE IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR OUT OF TUNE: It is in neither of your best interests for you to continue lying to him because the truth will come to light eventually. He is not the person you dated for 16 years, so let him pursue his dream. The odds of a 53-year-old man becoming an overnight national sensation are long, but after 31 years of misery with his ex, if he can enjoy some success on the local level, please don't begrudge him.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)