DEAR ABBY: The grandfather of a friend recently died. The sister of this friend and I had dated not long ago. I would like to send a condolence card to the family. Would it be proper to send one card addressed to "The Smiths" or should I send a card to the family and a separate one to "Lisa" (the woman I dated)? -- JAY
DEAR JAY: You are a thoughtful person. A letter or card of condolence should be sent to the family, and a separate condolence should be sent to Lisa.