DEAR ABBY: I am getting married this year and I'd like to challenge the notion that it's rude to ask for gifts toward a honeymoon or other big-ticket items such as home improvements or a car. My fiance and I own our home and we don't need a lot of the traditional items couples receive at their wedding.
Our families have been very understanding, but I'm sick to death of hearing or reading that it's rude to ask for money. Shouldn't wedding guests be happy to celebrate the couple in a way that they need and not force them to register for a bunch of material things they won't use? -- ALREADY HAS A BLENDER
DEAR ALREADY HAS A ...: Your question is very common. I receive variations on this theme in every batch of mail that arrives.
It is considered rude to ask for money on a wedding invitation, just as it is considered rude for brides and grooms to raise the subject themselves. When a wedding invitation is accepted, the guests usually contact whoever issued the invitation to inquire where the couple is registered. Once asked, it is then appropriate to reply, "They're not registered for gifts because they already have everything they need, but monetary gifts would be appreciated."
Some couples set up financial registries for this purpose with their bank or other financial institution, and there are also honeymoon registries and charitable gift registries if guests would prefer to donate to a worthy cause chosen by the happy couple.