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by Abigail Van Buren

Freedom From Controlling Wife Is Worth the Price of Divorce

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Tammi," is attending college in a neighboring state. When I text or call her, she doesn't respond. I have asked her to please just text me back saying she's OK. She says my texting her once a day is "overkill" and I should stop doing it so often -- once a week is often enough. I feel it is disrespectful of Tammi not to respond to my texts, even with a simple "OK" or "fine." She texts her friends all the time, so I don't think five seconds is too much to ask of her.

I'm willing to compromise and text Tammi every other day or every three days. She is my only child and I want to know that she is well. Am I being unrealistic or asking too much? -- TAMMI'S MOM IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MOM: Tammi may be your only child, but she's a young woman now, and she needs room to grow up and establish some emotional independence. What you're demanding is an example of helicopter parenting. If you are worried for your daughter's safety, ask her to carry a card in her wallet identifying you as the person to be notified in case of an emergency.