DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I have a private argument, he shares our problems with our 11-year-old daughter when I am not around. Later, she will tell me she sides with him about our argument.
I feel my husband should not involve our daughter in our disagreements. It makes me feel betrayed. How should I deal with this issue? -- VIOLATED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR VIOLATED: You married a man who appears to be manipulative and not above using your daughter to "get to you." I agree he shouldn't discuss your disagreements with her -- not because it's a betrayal, but because it's unfair that she is being put in the middle.
Because there are problems the two of you can't resolve, they should be talked out with a licensed marriage counselor, not a child. If your husband refuses to go, you definitely should go without him.