DEAR ABBY: I am a young, recently married woman. My husband and I are at the point where we're thinking about having kids. My brother married a close friend of mine not long after my wedding. My sister-in-law has a medical condition that may prevent her from having children.
I am very close to my brother and his wife, and I can see the writing on the wall. She brought up surrogacy once in passing, as a possible alternative if she can't have kids.
If I'm asked to be the surrogate, what advice do you have? I would be more than willing to consider it, but only after my husband and I have had our own children. Would it be selfish of me to also expect some compensation for my time and the toll it will take on my body? I want to be ready if and when I'm asked. What would be the best way to explain my reasoning to her? -- BACKUP MOM IN THE NORTHWEST
DEAR BACKUP MOM: You are an intelligent woman and you are asking good questions. You should explain your thinking to your sister-in-law as you have addressed them in your letter. It would be wise to consult an attorney who specializes in adoption/surrogacy to learn about the laws and procedures that apply in your state.