DEAR ABBY: The man I'm in love with, "Butch," is an alcoholic. He refuses to get help and has become verbally abusive. He got a DUI and there's a warrant out for him because he didn't follow through on his court orders. I threw him out after he lost his job.
Butch is homeless now and has taken up with a homeless woman. When he's sober he's a totally different person, and that's the man I'm in love with. I'm devastated by his actions and I want him back.
I am so co-dependent I cry daily about this. I do go to meetings and I'm trying to move on, but I have no friends and don't know where to start to get a life. Butch's behavior is out of control, and it's only a matter of time before he winds up in jail. Could you please tell me what to do? -- LOST IN LOVE IN MONTANA
DEAR LOST IN LOVE: I'm sorry you're hurting, but pleased to know you are going to meetings. At some point they will help you accept that as much as you love the person Butch was, for the sake of your health and sanity you must "let go and let God." Your next step should be to give yourself less time to brood. Fill your non-working hours by volunteering -- at a hospital, a library, a senior citizen's center. That's where you'll meet worthwhile, involved people and start building friendships with mentally healthy people. I promise you the more you put into it, the more you'll receive.