DEAR ABBY: I think my in-laws want my husband to divorce me because I have Asperger's syndrome and bipolar disorder. Sometimes I innocently say things that other family members take offense to. My mother-in-law then calls my husband, tells him what a "nut" I am and how upset "so-and-so" got. This results in huge fights between my husband and me, and it's hurting our marriage.
I have offered to educate my in-laws about bipolar and Asperger's, but they say I'm just making excuses for my behavior. I would like to explain to them that my thought processes aren't the same as everyone else's, so I am going to make mistakes in what I say to people.
I am hurt by their judgment and lack of tolerance. I don't do "bad" things often -- maybe once or twice a year. But instead of overlooking it, they make a big deal out of it because I'm different. They should focus on the good. I do a lot of charity work and would help anyone in need. Their lack of understanding is ruining my marriage. I'm 25 and we have been married for five years. I don't want to throw that away. What do I do? -- AM HOW I AM IN ALABAMA
DEAR "HOW YOU ARE": That your marriage has lasted through five years of your mother-in-law's attempts to undercut it tells me the bond between you and your husband must be a strong one. Does he understand how Asperger's and bipolar disorder affect the brain? If not, then the doctor who prescribes your medication should explain it to him so he can explain to his parents that what they are complaining about is not your fault. And if they don't "get it," a behavioral specialist should explain to them that they should be more patient and understanding with a member of their family.