DEAR ABBY: I am trying to decide who to have as best man at my wedding. I asked my best friend before I got engaged. After the engagement, I received a lot of pressure -- and unwanted stress -- from my mom to have my brother as best man. After arguing with her for a month straight, I finally gave in and asked my brother. We have never been close. There's no communication and no desire for it. We see each other only during the holidays and have had a forced relationship by Mom since we were teens.
My gut instinct tells me my best friend should be my best man. On the other hand, if I tell my brother he isn't the one anymore, I'm afraid it will be the final dagger in any type of relationship with him and his family. I need your advice on this matter. -- GROOM-TO-BE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR GROOM-TO-BE: You're right that having asked your brother to be your best man, you should not rescind the invitation. However, I have good news. Your best friend can still be your best man. According to Emily Post, there can be two best men. She says:
"Though not so common, two chief attendants may be the right solution when you don't want to choose between siblings or close friends. The attendants can share the duties and the fun!"
So there you are. Problem solved.