DEAR ABBY: I'm one of four guys who go on a men's golf trip every year. There's no infidelity -- just three days of golf and fine dining.
I no longer want to go because I'm tired of being the big brother, the referee and the designated driver while the others get drunk and obnoxious and are oblivious to others around us. I am also a physician who treats them and their families in my medical practice. How do I get out of this mess? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. -- THE ODD MAN OUT
DEAR ODD MAN OUT: An effective way to manage it would be to tell them that the dates they have selected for the golf trip "don't work" for you. You don't have to be specific about why -- it could be a family obligation or something related to your practice that makes you unavailable.
HOWEVER, as their physician, if you know these patients drink to such excess that they become obnoxious, oblivious and a danger behind the wheel, it would be in their interests to talk to them about it during their medical exam because they're a danger to themselves and others.